How to Initiate Meaningful Sex After Rape

Heman Thuranira

Experiencing sexual assault isn't something to wish on anyone. Once a woman has been raped, the feel-good sensation and bonding are immediately replaced by trauma, fear, pain, and anxiety. In short, sex after rape is never the same for the unfortunate casualty and restoring their previous confidence and trust can be a daunting task. Here's a simplified outline of the effects of rape and how to recover from the traumatizing ordeal.

An In-Depth Review of the Effects of Rape

Falling prey to rape can affect you in more ways than you can conceive. Apart from the potential physical injuries, the emotional wounds, and the inability to trust men speak volumes about the gravity of the heinous incident. As a rape victim, here are a few effects more likely to cause adverse harm.

1. Physical Impacts

  • Painful intercourse

It's crucial to analyze rape victim behavior in relationships to understand the underlying issues affecting rape survivors. Engaging in sexual intercourse can be a painful experience characterized by vaginismus. This condition consists of an involuntary muscle spasm that prevents vaginal penetration. Sexual assault can disturb the proper functioning of your vaginal muscles. This condition affects any sexual intercourse you might have with your partner.

  • Pregnancy

It's not surprising for a rape survivor to dread the thought of getting pregnant. Pregnancy is often a planned outcome by two consenting adults based on mutual love. However, rape throws a spanner in the works through the unplanned conception of a child. While getting an abortion isn't an ideal strategy, being impregnated can muddle your decision-making. Don't hesitate to seek the assistance of seasoned professionals on the way forward.

  • Urinary tract infections

In the aftermath of a sexual assault, you are susceptible to contracting urinary tract infections. During the rape incident, the perpetrator often uses physical violence to engage in sexual intercourse. As a rape survivor, the burning sensation during urination indicates a procurement of bacteria-causing microorganisms. Experiencing a burning sensation and a host of other urinary tract infections such as cystitis and pyelonephritis signal the need for urgent medical attention to safeguard your health.

  • STDs (Sexually transmitted diseases)

Nothing could be more detrimental to a rape survivor than contracting sexually transmitted infections. Sexual assault often leads to visible bleeding or bruising around the anal or vaginal area from coercive intercourse. This incident makes you vulnerable to sexually transmitted diseases such as syphilis, genital warts, chlamydia, and HIV. Some STD's are curable, while non-curable such as HIV can lead to surplus consequences such as stigma.

2. Psychological Impacts

Sex after rape is scientifically proven to yield more psychological harm than physical effects. As a victim, you are bound to experience both short and long-term psychological results. Here's a sneak-peek of the subsequent psychological impacts guaranteed to alter your mental health.

  • Depression

Depression is one of the first symptoms experienced by rape survivors. By being depressed, a rape survivor usually develops low self-esteem and purports to be undeserving of love. However, you shouldn't shoulder the blame when the traumatic incident wasn't your fault. Instead, it is prudent to seek medical assistance from seasoned specialists to eliminate any suicidal thoughts that might linger.

  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

This phenomenon is characterized by intense feelings of anxiety stemming from the assault. Recalling the traumatic experience regularly can dampen the development of a healthy relationship with your significant other.

  • Sleep disorders

Experiencing sleep disorders aren't a new concept when the disturbing incident plagues every aspect of their lives. As a rape survivor, sex after rape isn't an exciting experience anymore. Interrupted sleep patterns characterized by nightmares compound the adverse consequences. Such sleep disorders can be attributed to the perpetual fear that the traumatizing experience might happen again. As such, you no longer feel secure and enjoy sleeping.

  • Distrust of others

It's understandable that you might reevaluate your trust in others after enduring rape. Getting too close to people in social situations triggers intense feelings of hopelessness and fear previously attached to the abuse. Earning your trust can be a tough task for most people within your circle. You might be justified to do so, but taking the time to evaluate everyone's interest and role in your life is the right strategy to pursue.

  • Suicide

Entertaining suicidal thoughts aren't far-fetched after being the target of rape. The immediate thoughts entailing despair and undeserving of affection can push you over the edge. Before this unfortunate act happens, it's in your best interest to cultivate an optimistic mindset and seek immediate counseling.

Major Tips to Recover From a Rape

Involuntary sex can alter your life in more ways. But harnessing the strength to pick up from the distress and restoring to your initial lifestyle can elevate your confidence. Overcoming stigma demands a commitment to living a productive life. To achieve this lifestyle, here's what you should do.

  • Be open about what happened

No one likes reliving a trauma, but confiding in your trusted circle can help you obtain the much-needed closure. By opening up to your trusted partner, you are in a unique position to develop strengths and coping skills to get you through rough times. Staying silent denies you a swift recovery.

  • Cope with feelings of guilt and shame

Even though you are not to blame for the violation, you are bound to experience guilt and shame. Such feelings can crop up immediately after the attack or years afterward. Feelings of guilt and shame are generally manifested through statements, such as I trusted someone I shouldn't have, I was drunk or not cautious enough, and I didn't do enough to stop the attack. Regardless of your thoughts, you didn't warrant the abuse and moving forward is the best strategy.

  • Prepare for flashbacks and upsetting recollections

Experiencing rape triggers your body to stay in a perpetual state of alertness. You can be hypersensitive to the smallest of reactions, which is common. The flashbacks and nightmares gradually develop into post-traumatic stress disorder. It's crucial to prepare for triggers and pay attention to danger signals.

  • Reconnect to your body and feelings

Despite being in a hypersensitive state after a sexual assault, it's imperative to reconnect with your emotions to maintain ideal body functions. This strategy entails indulging in rhythmic movement, mindfulness meditation, and massage therapy.

  • Take care of your health

Healing from a sexual assault is a continuous process. Plans to engage in sex after rape shouldn't be rushed but considered after recovery. Taking ample time to rest after tiring activities and being smart about media consumption can yield impressive results. Importantly, frequent exercise and a wholesome diet can work in your favor during the recovery process.

  • Reach out for help

The benefits of reaching out for help after rape cannot be stressed enough. When you seek professional medical assistance, you immediately exude confidence to discuss the ordeal. After all, the trauma can make you feel vulnerable and extending support can help you get back on the path to recovery.

Take Home Thoughts

Experiencing sexual assault is a traumatizing event dreaded by all. Not only does it alter your life, but also reevaluates your relationship with other people. However, seeking prompt medical attention spells the difference between recovery and victimhood.