Falling in love might be a difficult experience at times. It is for this reason that you cannot just give your heart to someone. To many, the universal sign of being available is being single and ready to mingle. However, what if you have fallen in love with a married man who is separated from his family? Do you go ahead and pursue the relationship or do you steer clear? Considering the reasons for separation should be a clear guideline. Finding out if a divorce is in the works is another issue. If you are a little bit confused on what to do, below is a full guide about dating a separated man with children.
Tips for Dating As a Separated Man
As a separated man, moving on and going back to dating is largely a personal decision. However, before you decide to do that, certain things you should be aware of. These include;
- Consider state laws
Even in personal matters involving the heart, when it comes with dating a separated man with children, the decision to delve back into the dating pool isn't solely yours. Different states have diverse guidelines that grant you the right to date someone else during the separation. However, many of them discourage this, especially if you plan to be intimate with the new partner. Even though you are single, disregarding the state law can be termed as adultery and can affect your divorce settlement agreement.
- Talk to your ex-spouse
If you have moved on and plan to divorce after separating from your spouse, you might believe that what you do with your personal life is none of their business. Nonetheless, to freely date and resolve any underlying resentment that can affect your new love life, you should talk to them and keep them in the loop. This tricky heart-to-heart will tell you how your actions will affect your relationship with your children.
- Be alone
If you have been married for some time, being alone might seem strange. It is for this same reason that you should be alone for a while. Avoid instances where you get into another relationship just because you are bored. Get to know who you are and revive your likes and dislikes.
- Discover your feelings
As expected, a lot of residual feelings are carried over even after you have decided to separate from your spouse. Regardless of what led to the separation, take time and fully explore what your relationship during separation with your spouse means. You may not be ready to move on and take on a new partner. It might be that all you need is a break to gain perspective on your marriage.
Things to be on the Lookout for Before Dating a Separated Man with Children
If you are the party that has fallen in love with a separated man, being cautious is imperative when guarding your heart. Some of the things need to look out for include;
- Separation period
Before you decide to commit and start dating a separated man with children, do an overview on the period that has elapsed since he became officially separated. This allows you to know if he is serious about dating or if you are just a rebound. As much as he might say he is ready, a man that has been separated for a week or a month isn't fully prepared to enter another serious relationship.
- Relationship with his ex
Regardless of how intruding it might seem, it's essential to apprehend the nature of a relationship before you fully commit. This will enable you to evaluate if he is a violent man or if he is hostile because of the betrayal he felt. If it is amicable, it might be for the benefit of the children, or it might be that they are trying to give their relationship another chance.
- His relationship with his children
Even though he's separated and not divorced, a man that has no regard for the welfare of his children is not a man you should consider. Find out if he tried to have a loving relationship with his children during his separation. Learn what they do together and how much he gets to talk to them or see them. Doing this will allow you to know how he will treat you in the eventuality.
- His children's thoughts on the separation
Most children will not be giddy with joy about their father dating someone new. They might be cold and act indifferent towards a new love interest at first. Their behavior, though unresponsive, is usually due to their confusion and perception they are losing a parent. However, if they are out rightly aggressive the idea of their father moving on, then reconsider dating him. In the instance, the relationship continues you will have to contend with being a step parent to children who don't welcome you.
When deliberating how to go about dating a separated man with children, keep in mind what matters is what you think. If you insist on pursuing this kind of relationship, ensure that you truly know what you are getting into and if it's worth it. Be ready to be discouraged and judged dishonorably by friends or family members as it's their way to shield you from a potential heartbreak. In all, remember, dating someone separated doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed to fail. He might be just what you have been looking for, the soul mate who completes you.